RAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
FUUCKING PAIN AH!!!
today gotta b the worst day of my life
aft the break up

today i realise 2 things
Sh had moved on
she has a bf now
i reali wanna gratz her sincerely

n i found tt
G had'nt reali broke up
she was "single"
but their hearts were still together...

ahhhh....
this feeling
a heavey rock lifted off my chest
but @ the same time
painful
somehow
i feel sore...
i guess i had not reali moved on
i had onli did so physically
but my soul, mind
is still @ tt moment...

i swear this is the last time i will touch this blog
cos this blog
represents all the sad memories i had
i noe God will do the best for me
it isnt my time time yet
i shall live by faith
and not give up
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!

hahas
my life is way better now
no more dwelling in the past
many plp to thx to
1st-ly
jonathan and wee kiat
accompany-ing me during recess
cheering me up
2nd-ly
joshua yap
my lgl
hahas
he encouraged me
gave me advice
and pushed me on
its him who help-ed me up my feet
its him hu pushed me on
he gave me an aim
a sense of direction which i had lost
3rd-ly
grace
hahas
consoled me alot
counseled me too
always so patient
and nice

hoho now i am like living another new life
recently been in sparring
i wanted to start sparring
not ecause i wanna b a gangster
but i wan to b stronger
physically and mentally
someone once told me
i was very weak
no muscle and all
another told me
i failed in live
cos i am too soft heart-ed
i shall not make the same mistake again
i shall grow up
no more soft hearted weakling sy
overall i like my life now
but there are still days
when i will miss the old her
and my heart will hurt till ****
like today...
i guess love dont disappear so easily

tho i still love her
i still have to ignore her
this feeling is so .....

anyways made a major discovery today
our dear wee kiat is in love!
lols
hahas
shall mug now(try)
kthxbb

ps: thx god imma alive

argh wtf have i done ?
consumed by hatred
blaming her for everything
hatred had turned me into a monster
i didnt see tt
she was the one i hurt
i was to b blamed
i such an asshole
imma sry
i reali am
its too late
i owed her too much
an apology tt i shuld had said long ago
its not regret tt imma feeling
its guilt
i shall always remember this sin in my heart
the hurt i've caused
imma sinner

ello plp
hehe
today had the bio thingy @ ngee ann poly
hoho
had a lot of fun:D
@ 1st wan pon de...
lucky got go
haizzz
wad made the thing worse was
4/8 was comming with us
>_<
to b exact
she was dere...
spoil my day nia
haizzz cant blame her also
imma the onli one to b blame
y m i still hanging on
when she had alrdy given up long time ago
2months ago
y does it still hurt me
when she dont give a damn
y m i so dumb
y m i so loyal
y m i so sentimental
i bet she had alrdy let it all go long ago
i have to let it go too
tts y i have to b an asshole
with no feelings
tt shall b my goal in life...

tmrw my junior having vex competition
i wanna go
butdden shes dere too...
i hope _ _ _ _ _ will come on9 soon
den i can talk to her bout it
haizzz
imma such a weakling
feelings is a burden to me
feelings is a my tripping stone
tts y i have to leave it behind me
I SHALL NOT HAVE FEELINGS ANYMORE !!!

ah~
yea so much things happening
1stly
tt day
last thurs
i went with wee kiat n north peeps to attend lesson
hahas
to grow closer to god
reali appreciate tt lesson
wanna thnk Jon Tay, Fiona n Cheng
hehe:D
2ndly
last fri or sat
somehow tt nite was the worst nite for me
tt nite
idk y i suddenly tot of her
n it hurts real back
it forced me to crawl of bed to on comp to look thru photos of her D:
haizzz
wad m i holding onto?
dumb me...
3rdly
historical moment for me
1st time i had the perseverence to chiong maple till lvl 70 today
hahas:D
now priest le
woo~

hahas
hi bitches out dere!
nah jus kidding
nvr tot i did eva post again
damn it sia
who the fuck m i kidding
i tot i could handle it
budden i couldnt
FUCKED IT SIA
jus some days our 1st anni
we broke up
joke sia
i cant take it
我不甘心!!!
i gave it my best shot...
m i destined to fail all my life?
m i the son tt god hate so much?
even i hate myself...
i feel so different rite now
i feel so...
consume with hatred
consume with sadness
consume with fury
its getting hard to control my emotions
the 1st few days, i managed to control it
or mayb i didnt
i guess i was jus too stunned to react
it was too sureal...
now its likea flashforward
imma begginning to feel it
the pain
the agony
the anger
the jealousy
everything shitty
yea n like i said
its getting hard to control my emotion
i cant keep my cool anymore
i flare up like nobody's business
now imma having the side effect
i keep getting headaches from the blood rushes...
plus its raining these few days, my head hurts worst
this agitates me further...
i feel like killing plp
jus ending everything in my sight
OBILERATE
but its stupid
this agony
the mental torture...
its killing me bits by bits
i jus wish someone would c this
n perharps save my soul
or jus end my misery...

yo
went out with ilyas todae to rp
as usual he was late
lets nt go into detail
anyways
it was raining den we nid to take several buses to reach rp
lol
partly due to rain
partly lazy
den reach rp
went to eat
aft tt go pool instead of studying
hahas:D
i heck care dun wan do liao
left 3 chap of maths
n chi
yea n pool is addictive>_>
my finger bleed again todaeD:
irritating
due to ramming to hard
n ramming the finger into the pool table(nt excatly into >_> )
aft pools went home
juz went fb
saw alvin post
tmrw amin dae
no nid bring books
no lessons:D
sadly deres cca tmrw>_>
nvm @ least can c sh
lol
n i m goin bak to dota
but will restrict myself this time:D